I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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