If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
