Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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