Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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