absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize