Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
