Me. At least after what I've been through.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just had sex on a roof
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
