How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
