u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
