this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
