i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize