Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
