I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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