maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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