I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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