Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
