I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
