Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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