Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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