Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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