dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
