So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
