Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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