Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
