in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize