i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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