I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
