You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
