omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
