giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
