I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
