New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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