is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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