new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
