well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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