If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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