what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
