Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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