Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
