Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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