we're blogging at a bar
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
