i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize