We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
