Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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