How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
