I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
