She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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