Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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