you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
