waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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