his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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