Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
