I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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