Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
