worst night to have a conscience
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
