dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
