Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So much rum. So many feels.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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