Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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