I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I need water and some morals
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize