but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
