I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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