he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
