im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
