you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well I just put wine in my tea
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize