The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
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He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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