Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize