just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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