do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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