Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
