I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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