Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
