You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize