Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize